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We humans have personality traits, that is readily apparent. And because we all have our own individual and highly weird traits, each of us also have singularly different desires. Desires for things in our life that are driven by our God-given quirks. The athlete, bookworm, the flour-on-my-hands addicted, the outdoorsman, or maybe the dancer. We all seem to come equipped with an in-born love of something.
Scripture says to rear a child according to who they are individually. So if you are given the responsibility of getting a child ready for adulthood, that years-long and difficult job of training, loving, and disciplining – you better know your little one well.
Granted, every child has the same basic needs for getting ready to become elementary school age, then a teen, then a young adult – needs that involve love, security, education, and discipline. But face it – each kid is really different. Some are just instinctively more independent, with bossy tendencies that could probably make them a leader, if trained correctly. Others are naturally more compliant and ready to follow a leader.
Think back to your experiences around little ones. Anyone who has been around a group of toddlers have witnessed that there are some who are simply more belligerent and self-centered than others. Then there are those who are much sweeter and quieter by nature, and less self-oriented. The assertive child can easily rip a toy from their tiny hands with not too much pushback.
Can you ignore those apparent differences in personality, and just treat them all the same? And then expect Sweet Submissive Sally to enter into school life, ready to defend herself against the resident Larry The Leader? Of course not. Early in life, Larry and Sally need to be taught tailored social skill lessons. If you want your child to be mentally, emotionally, and socially ready to take their place in the world, then a smart parent will take that into consideration.
But many adults do what is tempting and seems so normal; they copy what they experienced as children. “I didn’t turn out to be an ax murderer or nuthin’. So if it was good ‘nuff for mom and dad, I guess it’s good ‘nuff for me.”
Or, if they believe their parent did a lousy job at raising them, they will turn to popular parenting advice books. Good or bad. And there is a lot of bad they can choose.
Then there are the parents who remember that when they were growing up with siblings, Mom and Dad had favorites. So they attempt to treat all their own kids exactly alike. Not recognizing the need for meeting differences in personality.
I beg you, get to know your kids intimately. Some need extra cuddling and facetime. Others need you to cultivate that spark of creativity and imagination they were given at birth. Some need extra attention given to that tendency of theirs to be a bully, so that it can be later channeled into natural leadership.
Don’t just copy, or react, or ignore. Do your job well.